“Stenny has a hatched a new plan to increase profits,” Melissa says to Leigh as she serves her a new version of the Leightini, two shots of whipped cherry vodka with a splash of lime juice.
“Since Stenny means Steve and Lenny, shouldn’t it be Stenny have hatched a new plan to increase profits?” Leigh asks.
“Maybe, but don’t miss the point, ok?”
“Ok. What’s the plan?”
“You know those Brazilian steakhouses? Where they just descend on you with meat until you cry uncle?” Melissa asks.
“Yep, Jim and I have gone to the one downtown a couple of times. Once with Joanna and Matt. I thought Joanna was going to pass out.”
“She doesn’t react well to having a lot of food on her plate. She freezes, doesn’t know what to do,” Leigh says.
“Doesn’t know that she should just start eating?”
“She’s like a person who is so swamped at work that they can’t decide what to do first, so they do nothing. She ended up eating a breadstick, one rib, and some creamed spinach.”
“I’ll need to prank her one day. Bring her like a triple serving of something she orders. Like that rigatoni bolognese she likes. She only eats a third of it as it is.”
“Oh, that would be fun! But anyway—Steve and Lenny are doing a Brazilian steakhouse thing?”
“The concept, but not with steak. Not with any kind of meat.”
“Guess,” Melissa says.
“No idea. Pizza?”
“I’m out. Just tell me.”
“Edamame. For a set price, people can have as much edamame as they want this coming Sunday. They’re calling it ‘The Great Edayomama Event.’”
“What’s the set price?” Leigh asks, ignoring the name, which she finds vulgar.
“$10.99. They did some math. They figure that even if the average person eats a pound, which is a lot, they will make about 8 bucks on each order.”
“How many pounds did they buy?”
“50,” Melissa says.
“So they expect 50 people to shell out eleven bucks for edamame?”
“Yes, and turn a profit of $400.”
“But that’s a lot for edamame,” Leigh says. “Hold on. Jim,” she yells to her husband, three stools away. “What would you pay if someone was offering you all-you-can-eat edamame?
“6 bucks, tops,” Jim answers.
“Barb,” she says. “Same question.” She makes a mental note to yell at Jim later for talking to Her Beautiness for too long.
“I agree with Jim. 5 or 6 bucks,” Her Beautiness says.
“Why are you asking?” Jim says.
“Tell him, Melissa,” Leigh says. She is losing interest and is now focusing her attention on how to get Jim away from Barb.
“We’re having an all-you-can-eat edamame event Sunday. ‘The Great Edayomama Event.’ Steve and Lenny are pricing it at $10.99 per person. They think it will be very profitable.”
“Great name. But that’s insane,” Jim says. “They’ll either have no takers, or…”
“Or what?” Melissa asks, sensing something interesting.
“It’ll be offered at the bar as well as the restaurant?”
“Or….one person will order it and everyone will share. Hard for you guys to legislate against that,” Jim says.
“Ahh, yes,” Melissa says.
“How many pounds did they buy? And fresh or frozen?” Jim, as we know, has an interest in how restaurants operate.
“You better tell them it’s ill-conceived. They’ll lose a ton of money,” Jim says.
Melissa smiles, thinking, as she often does, of the time three months ago when Lenny called her a jerk-off. “It’s too late now. It’s all set,” she says, as she serves Jim another Tito’s on the rocks. She is humming, as she often does when she’s happy.